Sep 08, 2013

When the G20 meeting was held last week, everyone was hoping that a reasonable, peaceful, and diplomatic solution to the engineered Syrian crisis would be the result. However, President Obama had other plans, and as a result, the G20 ended with utter embarrassment for the United States.

While addressing Russia’s President, Vladamir Putin, Obama essentially soiled the relationship between the United States and Russia beyond repair by directing a vulgar jab against the Russian leader:

“Everyone here thinks you’re a jackass.”

As the rest of the room sat in stunned silence, Obama then unleashed a ten-minute long tirade that included the following:

“Look, I’m not just talking about Snowden and Syria,” Mr. Obama said. “What about Pussy Riot? What about your anti-gay laws? Total jackass moves, my friend.”

As Mr. Putin put on his narrowed-eyes, stone-cold face in response, Obama seemed to be strengthened by his diplomatic silence, and went on to say:

“If you think I’m the only one who feels this way, you’re kidding yourself,” Mr. Obama said, jabbing his finger in the direction of the Russian President’s face. “Ask Angela Merkel. Ask David Cameron. Ask the Turkish guy. Every last one of them thinks you’re a dick.”

What was he thinking?! Did Obama earn his degree in diplomacy online or something? I’m sure Zbignew Brzezinski performed a facepalm at that particular moment, since this is the most asinine comment any world leader has ever dished out in human history.

In response, Mr. Putin released a short, crisp statement:

“I should be afraid of this skinny man? I wrestle bears.”

After this ridiculous act was committed, the world leaders voted – after only one day of talks – that they would just all go home early, since they realized that they weren’t going to get anywhere. This event has put the nail in the coffin of U.S. diplomacy, and I am so embarrassed to call myself an American right now.