Most supermarket ground beef comes from massive, filthy factories where anything that’s vaguely meat like and fits gets shoved through industrial-sized meat grinders.
They’d grind up the “moo” if they could!
But it’s not the “moo” I’m worried about today. It’s the POO — because fecal matter is finding its way into your ground beef.
Consumer Reports magazine tested 458 pounds of ground beef and found nasty stomach-churning — and stomach-burning — bugs in all of them. Every single package they tested contained either enterococcus or E. coli, two fecal bacteria.
A fifth also contained C. perfringens — another fecal germ linked to food poisoning outbreaks — while 10 percent contained S. aureus.
Both conventional and organic beef contained the germs, although the conventional stuff was twice as likely to be loaded with drug-resistant superbugs.
The magazine suggests cooking your burger until it’s at least 160 degrees to kill off any bacteria in the beef. If you do, be sure to invite a priest to your cookout so he can say a prayer over the cremated remains of that poor cow.
Personally, I just skip the burgers. I’d rather have a juicy ribeye, porterhouse, filet or even a roast. Pan-seared and topped with garlic butter, you won’t find a better meal than that.
But if you’re still a ground beef fan there are a couple of ways to make safe burgers without turning them into hockey pucks.
If you’re really dedicated, buy a decent grinder and run your own sirloin through it. But that’s a little too much work for some folks, so the other option is to go to a butcher who’ll do it for you, running his own fresh, clean cuts of sirloin through the grinder on the spot.
Add your favorite seasonings, cook them medium-rare and you’ll have the freshest, safest, tastiest and juiciest burgers in town.
Just don’t let word get out or you might have to feed the whole neighborhood.